Doctors say 4 out of 5 people suffer with diarrhea. We've been through a lot of shit together. Laugh more: Banana jokes that are totally ap-peeling. WebWhat did one toilet say to the other toilet? Maybe she wont hear me if I turn on the water. Poop Jokes are not my favorite but they are a solid #2 One is a lot more impressed if you give him a foot. A company that performs tests on urine samples turned a large profit in the last several months. There are plenty of places to go at this exit! Sadly, I only got an eye roll from my wife. When you combine two of the most funniest things you get poop one liners. Ayatollah who? . Weve also snuck in a few cringeworthy jokes among these funny one-liners, so be warned. 101 Jokes And One Liners For Kids! Funny, its all over town. To make it to the bottom! What do you call a bear with no teeth? I feel bad for toilets. 88. 73. I apologize in advance as this isn't exactly a joke, but whenever my son (23) asks me this question, I always answer with a wildly incorrect age. Why is it called a urine test? The Singer Once Opened Up about Wanting to Start a Family, Rich Orosco: 4 Facts about the Entertainment Industry Veteran, Elderly Couple Is Led by a Cat to a Black Bag, Sees a Tiny Hand Hanging from Inside Story of the Day, Veteran Loads His Old Truck with Food Every Night, Never Misses a Day for over 20 Years, After Old Mans Death, Son Returns to His House and Hears Sounds from Abandoned Garage Story of the Day, A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat. Because he was sitting on the deck. You blow me away. A. Why was Eeyore down the toilet? I am Julia, I love to laugh and I love to make people laugh. Q. WebHeard the person who invented the urinals was very young. Well, you either stink or swim! I come again and pee twice. They wash their hands, hands, hands, hands, hands, hands, hands, hands. To cover their butt quacks. Q. 2. A. Are you looking for more? Little Johny gets two cups every night one for him and his sister. Unless you have diarrhea. A. Inverted P Waves. What did one piece of toilet paper say to another? What happened when the guy mixed up his depression medication with Viagra? Ayatollah. Whats the difference between an outlaw and an in-law? He worked it out with a pencil. Missile toe. Laugh more here: Funny and Flirty Woman Jokes. Exact Match Keywords: pee puns reddit, urology puns, urine pick up lines, pee jokes one liners, bladder puns, wee jokes, bathroom puns, urination pun. WebA blonde woman came in for a routine physical at the doctors office. Uncle: Urine a lot of trouble mister. It runs in your genes. Q. Uncle: Urine a lot of trouble mister. Your email address will not be published. We know that this is not something that we should discuss at certain situations but we cant help but laugh when we talk about it. Knock, knock. 2. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? 6. Whats happened Paddy?" Alabama. There are some peeing tryed jokes no one knows ( to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. The agent jumps up and down and says, haha! A. They didnt all bring their wallets, so I ended up paying the lions share. Why is sperm white and urine yellow? Here are some clean poop jokes for kids. The doctor will see you in a few minutes.. When a janitor is fired for refusing to unclog the toilets, what is it called? 99. She was a party pooper. 4. Why shouldn't you be afraid to fart while you pee? How can you tell youre getting old? We definitely have more for you. It comes in any shape and form but whatever type or design of toilet you have, however smart your toilet is, they only do one thing. A. ", "That seems fair enough," the cop says, "so what's in the other sack? On that noteyou will love as well those butt bum jokes. Makani Ravello Harrelson Has Acted in Movies - Facts about Woody Harrelson's Daughter, Does Bailey Zimmerman Have a Wife? ", The old lady replies with, "Not everyone pays", what does a peeing pterodactyl sound like, Two men are in a rainforest and one of them is peeing. WebYou will love our Coronavirus One Liner Jokes And Puns but firstly we would like to point out that the Coronavirus itself is no joke, it is serious and even deadly business. What does superman call his toilet? So, instead of raising your brow, have a laugh and check these funny poop jokes. We hope you will find these urinary pee. Did you hear about the constipated accountant? The man says yes I do, I'm a gambler. Does this taste funny to you?. To make it to the bottom! To get to the bottom. It never came out! My lion impression went down well a roaring success. A device with a prick on both ends. Why were there balloons in the bathroom? the crustacean accused of promoting his own shellfish interests? To get to the bottom. the cat who ate a ball of yarn? Q. Advice to husbands: Try praising your wife now and then, even if it does startle her at first. There are plenty of places to go at this exit! Sadly, I only got an eye roll from my wife. I love my toilet. They both deal with a lot of crap. Stop making me laugh or Ill puma pants! Why do ducks have feathers? Humptys Dump. On the 4th day, a mermaid came up out of the water and offered them one wish to save their lives. is it a bow-wowel movement? Nah, they always stink. Eventually he ran out of cups and has one left. Because he was sitting on the deck. That means one guy likes it. And, oh boy, is this good. 52. 101 Jokes And One Liners For Kids! You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined. What do you call a sorcerer who only deals in urine magic? What idiot named it Erectile Dysfunction instead of Ballzheimer's? Stinker Bell! I was going to tell you a poop joke but its really crappy. Just a phew! 4. He told her, "I'm good, but I'm not sure I'm ready to compete.". What do you do if you find a bear using the toilet in your bathroom? There are some peeing tryed jokes no one knows ( to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. In honor of Readers Digests 100th anniversary, weve collected 100 jokes, puns, and funny one-liners that are short, sharp, and easy to deliver. To get to the other side. 49. What's a doctor hope to gain from a urine test? Its a filibuster. The man told the doctor what happened and the doctor said, You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out. He can charm the pants off just about anyone! 11 r/dadjokes 6 comments u/Beergelden Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? Now you say, Control freak who?. Read more:FunnyBEST Friend JokesThat Will Knock Them Over! What do you call a hippies wife? A. 76. Then I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever. Probably 40 of the little suckers. 87. The Times are rough. Uncle: Urine a lot of trouble mister. 14. What is the difference between orthopedic doctors and urologists? A. Piss Off. There was a birthday potty! 1. 82. To make it to the bottom! Q. A. And while you're here, please take a moment to visit our sponsors: Pee Pee Jokes, Pissy Humor, Wee Wee Puns Urine Luck! An easy pill can do the job. ", Can anyone answer this riddle? (at this point she is still pretty ticked off). A. It got stuck in the crack! Why was Eeyore down the toilet? Through the grapevine. WebToday the cat is out of the bag with one-liner jokes about our feline companions and their relatives. Why were there balloons in the bathroom? Fart jokes and toilet humor are things that are loved by kids. Q. What do you call crystal clear urine? 66. We recommend our users to update the browser. How much did the pirate pay for his peg leg and hook? He couldnt budget. Because he was sitting on the deck. Its to take your dump and it doesnt discriminate, young and old, whatever gender you are, and just like our favorite seat, these toilet puns are for everyone to sit on and enjoy. I had to text my wife about that one. Have you seen the movie Diarrhea? A. WebThe man replies alright I have another one, your down 12,500$ I'll bet you 15,000$ if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere. 22. I saw my urologist the other day, and he really pissed me off! Yeah, they got him on possession. He knocks on the door and Seamus` wife answers. " If you take $2 out of an ATM that has a $2.50 fee, do you owe the machine money? And I'm making dinner, so can you please deal with this? Daughter: How much longer, I have to pee. What is the difference between a cat and a comma? What do snow and friends have in common? The volcano exploded because it couldnt find a lava-tory. If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? WebPee Pee Jokes, Pissy Humor, Wee Wee Puns Urine Luck! Have you seen the movie Diarrhea? So my new dog doesnt like to poop in the grass How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Seamus shook his head, " No, he got out 3 times for a pee. Why are elephants constantly in the bathroom? 1. little Johny replied, "Your drinking out of the bottle tonight". Q. the racing snail that got rid of his shell? 86. Here are some funnies you can share with kids. What do you call a guy whos had too much to drink? Advertisement. Poop who? What do you call a dog that you find in your bathroom? She started to cry and asked paddy: " Did he at least die quickly?" Which I immediately followed up with, "Yeah it was. Q. If a dog goes to poop, You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined. Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? A. Urine trouble with your wife. Why did the bakers hands stink? 3. I went to buy some camo pants but couldnt find any. Why did the Scotsman have to see an urologist? 11. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? Q. A. 85. Dung-arees. 13. Why did the rooster cross the road? WebThe man says, imma just teac. Whats the similarity between poop and talent? Ha! says the barman. Turns out he was full of shit. 43 BEST Short and Funny Jokes That Sting (Easy to Remember! The man unzips his pants and pees all over the IRS agents desk. WebA blonde woman came in for a routine physical at the doctors office. He gives on himself and his sister asks, "Wheres my cup?". And not surprisingly, kids love poop jokes. What is the sound of no-hands texting? 83. On the 4th day, a mermaid came up out of the water and offered them one wish to save their lives. What do you call a sorcerer who only deals in urine magic? 8. Theyll make your cheeks hurt. He was given a ticket for making a ewe turn. 1. OUCH! Dereliction of doodie. There you go," said the nurse as she handed her a urine cup. What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say to clients when they leave? What happens if you fall into the toilet? What happens when you miss the toilet bowl? So here's what happened. So youre the one! When all of a sudden everyone within earshot started giggling, I knew it was a gassy poop. My mother was so surprised when I told her I was born again. What did the Puma say to his friend who was making poop jokes? You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined. Because if you fail it, urine trouble. Did you hear about the constipated accountant? Nope. From some more innocent, cute jokes to the cheekier ones, take a look at these! Are you the one who signed up for the pee club? Q. Keegan come here. My aunt saw him and got slightly irritated because this was a problem she thought he had gotten over. It became a problem because it kills the flowers. I just hate when theyre too corny or run on. Whos there? Looking for jokes about the urinary system? Well, urine luck! 12. A. A. Nothing, it was on the house. Poop Puns One Liners. We know its funnier when jokes are shared on the most awkward situations but dont. Ayatollah you already. Eclipse it. The receptionist asked me to pee in a cup, I told her that I didn't think I would be able to since I just peed before my visit. ", Where does the Batman go to pee? Captain Hooky. 10. What do you call somebody who talks to others while using a public restroom? A lot of people do have to urinate after a movie, and thus there is a long restroom line. He set a new lap record. He didnt want to go. Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary? Q. Poop jokes arent my favorite jokes. They just wash up on shore. Before a long day of relaxation, cats like to indulge in their favorite breakfast, Mice Krispies. We were driving across state over the holidays and my 4 year old tells us she has to pee. There are plenty of places to go at this exit! Sadly, I only got an eye roll from my wife. 67. A. Q. Because the P is silent. 3. A. Yo mama so fat when she sat on the toilet it sang abcdefg get your fat butt off of me. Dad: Looks like urine trouble! We still have more! The IRS came to this mans house one day and told him to come in the next morning to talk about all the money thats been coming in and out of his bank account. She yawned and said, "oh so that's who's been peeing in the refrigerator. Urine Jokes, Funny Pee Puns, Urologist Humor (Because Mellow Yellow Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream and Pee Puns May Make You Go with the Flow!) Why didnt Han Solo enjoy his steak dinner? 2. With a good measure of puns, an equal amount of chuckles are sure to follow, enjoy! They both deal with a lot of crap. Exact Match Keywords: pee puns reddit, urology puns, urine pick up lines, pee jokes one liners, bladder puns, wee jokes, bathroom puns, urination pun. 2. Urologists have been blessed with golden opportunities, know how to go with the flow, and make the lives of their patients a wee bit better. It runs in your genes. Airport security wouldnt let it through. Poop Jokes are not my favorite but they are a solid #2 50 of Tim Vines most ingenious jokes and one-liners I thought Id begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? A. Euro peein'. Come in tomorrow and well have a chat about this. The old man thinks for a while and then decides he better get his lawyer to come with him. Nowadays, poop has already been normalized. Or to take arm against a see of urine and by opposing relive it. But theyre a solid #2. You might get the I dont get it from your kids. What is every urologist's favorite rap group? 'Cause that's where Coors is brewed. The doctor told me she would have to take a urine sample. Why arent dogs good dancers? Im feeling really wiped. 4. A. 132 FUNNY Cold Jokes To Make Your Day a Little Happier. She got dumped. Why did the parents not like their sons biology teacher? Not a joke Wear Depends! 36. A. When it has a leek in it! What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backward? What is the difference between a neurologist and an urologist? Control freak. Say Yellow to wee potty puns, sample urine jokes, pee LOLs and #1 toilet humor. 53. But theyre a solid number 2. 2. A. Pis-tachio. Cops have nothing to go on. Q. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? WebPee Pee Jokes, Pissy Humor, Wee Wee Puns Urine Luck! . It got stuck in the crack! A. Put a bit more formally: The bathroom is over there on your left. Because seven eight nine. Q. . Theres a lot to be said in his favor, but its not nearly as interesting. WebTop 20 Jokes about Pee Two frat boys were stranded at sea in a life boat. The genie grants his wish. What do octopuses do after using the toilet? 3. A new study shows that one-third of people dont floss, while the other two-thirds couldnt answer with all the local anesthetic in their mouths. WebThe man replies alright I have another one, your down 12,500$ I'll bet you 15,000$ if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere. Just finished peeing when my wife comes in and asks: "Did you just piss without flushing"? A noble gas. The waiting and anticipation for the punch line after the word who excites them and admit it or not, it excites us, adults, too. Funny One-Liners 1. I was calling the hospital, but it seems they were busy. Q. Dr. Dre. 89. 84. Join us on social media and please feel free to share our memes with friends and family: 2017-2021 Painfulpuns.com All rights reserved. 29. A rich man is 0ne who isnt afraid to ask the clerk to show him something cheaper. Their paws. It's only "urine" until you pee, then it's "urout". Now, he's wishing for a dry pocket Q. 57. 50 of Tim Vines most ingenious jokes and one-liners I thought Id begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? 'Cause they go oui oui all over the house. We cant even get enough of the poop emoji because its disgustingly cute. It never came out. Children are like farts. What is the toilets favorite sport? Me: We just passed a rest stop too Did you hear they arrested the devil? ), or just manually add the email addresses you'd like to keep in your contact list. Whos there? Was I born in a nest or a hive?. Little Johnny was walking down an alley and saw a lamp. If youre looking for the biggest laughs from the fewest words, youve come to the right place. Author: punstoppable.com Date Published: 01/10/2021 Ratings: 4.42 An apostate feelin' your prostate. Peers. He then says,alright last chance. A receding hare line. 39. 72. Only one, but he has to do it while you are eating dinner. 1. Wanna hear a poop joke? Wanna hear a poop joke? Wanna hear a poop joke? I proudly proclaimed Urine luck! Maybe she wont hear me if I turn on the water. 48. What do you call a fairy that uses the toilet? Who wants to know? To pee, or not to pee, that is the question. 4. The frat boys thought about it and one shouted out,"I wish A. Q. Why cant you trust an atom? Funny one-liners. Captain Hooky. ", She replies, "Well, there's a golf course behind my house and when golfers need to go to the bathroom, they stick their penis through a hole in my fence and pee into my yard. 119 HILARIOUS Poop Jokes That Will Make Kids Laugh Out Loud! Why is it so hard to train a French bulldog? Friend of mine used to take a bit of pride in his job. 2. These funny poop jokes will make you giggle in so many levels. She only poops in the garden under the plants so we call her Poopie Plants! 26. What is the most popular type of bathroom joke? 19. 4. 71. A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother. So Im sure youll like them. #2 will surprise you! 3. I bet you $100 that I can pee in it from over here.. If youre an American in the sitting room, what are you in the bathroom? The cop asks the woman, "Where did an old lady like you get all of that money? What should you wear to a truly scary haunted house? 'Cause the Pee is silent. Because they had nothing to go on! Laugh more here: Hilarious Horse Racing Jokes. How do you align a toilet? The frat boys thought about it and one shouted out,"I wish They surely are a boredom killer but they can also kill someones appetite so do not try to crack one of these at the dinner table. 2. Where does a winemaker get his gossip? Knock, Knock! 53+ Funny Quotes by Famous People 2023 (laugh-out-loud! Did you hear about the sequel, Diarrhea? Q. More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles | Bee Jokes | Beer Jokes | Blonde Jokes | Colorado Jokes | European Travel Jokes | Fit Puns | Light Bulb Jokes | | Money Puns | Music Jokes | Police Puns | Monster LOLs | Pot Puns | River Jokes | Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Puns | | Shrink Humor | Soup Jokes | Space Jokes | Sports Jokes | Superhero Jokes | Tex-Mex Puns | Travel Jokes |. 1. Because he only deals with in-continent patients. The student recited the alphabet abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz, 6. Whos there? Nothing. I spent a lot of time, money, and effort childproofing my house but the kids still get in. 3. What is crunchy and says meow? Constipation is a difficult word to say. You look flushed! I'd say urine for a real treat.". What does Woody say when he has bad gas? Q. WebTop 20 Jokes about Pee Two frat boys were stranded at sea in a life boat. What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall? What happens to an illegally parked frog? When a golfer sticks his penis through the fence, I grab ahold of it and shout GIVE ME $20 OR IT COMES CLEAN OFF! Knock, knock. What did the poop say to the fart? 1. 32. They get installed. I wonder why a cats favorite song is Three Blind Mice. The barman agrees to the bet, so the man begins to urinate all over the bar, its patrons and even the barman himself basically everywhere except in the glass. Q. Because he always goes with the flow. 2. He just wanted a little more space. He just couldnt budget. WebHeard the person who invented the urinals was very young. 5. Urine Jokes, Funny Pee Puns, Urologist Humor (Because Mellow Yellow Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream and Pee Puns May Make You Go with the Flow!) Gentlemen- whats a shortcut to not piss on the seat? The old man takes out his false teeth and bites his other eye. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined. This is really rough. I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. Dung. 'Cause he was already scared stiff! I think theyre the shit. 2.Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? Diarrhea can drain you your energy and its no fun at all. . It never came out! 44. What do you call a cheap circumsision? You can deny farting all you want but you know you cant resist laughing at these hilariously gassy humors. Because he plays with Pooh. 79. Because its his doody! So that men can tell if they're coming or going! 38. Ctrl+P Advertisement. A whizzard. 3. One. You know, if you pee in the swimming pool, urine trouble! What are kings farts called? A. It got stuck in the crack! WebThe man replies alright I have another one, your down 12,500$ I'll bet you 15,000$ if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere. Because it's all about number one. ), 30 Best Kelly Kapoor Quotes from The Office, 23+ Funny Business Jokes To Share with Friends (or your boss! Stinkerbell. . A. 100. One, but it takes two weeks and four trips to the hardware store. Why do some scientists have cameras on their toilets? Q. 94. Q. A few minutes later Europe who? Someone stole the toilet at the police station last night. Heard the person who invented the urinals was very young. 74. A fart with a lump in it. Laugh out loud with our BEST Butt Jokes That Are Just Booty-ful. The purrpatrator. Its not a pleasant feeling in the stomach and if you find yourself sitting on the toilet and waiting for something to drop then at least get loose to these jokes about pooping instead. Read More 45 Hilarious Pee Pee Puns Punstoppable. 51. What do you call a non-religious urologist? A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat. My boss told me to get it together. What did one kidney say to another at the gym? Have you seen the movie Diarrhea? . Why did the chicken go to the seance? #1 Point to Ponder: When pee jokes are not funny, why don't we get pissed off? My uncle proceeded to laugh uncontrollably at his own joke while my four year old cousin stood there looking really confused and my aunt walked away with her arms crossed, angrily trying to hold back her laughter.
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